In contrast to the skinny ones...

A couple of the ladies at work are asking me why I want to lose weight - I tell them that I have a whole wardrobe of clothes (really nice ones) that I cannot wear. Some things are brand new. These ladies are a little bigger than me and I can see their point in a way. I have friends that are smaller than me and want to lose weight. Are we ever going to be happy!

We don't get American Idol here but I saw the highlights of it on one of the entertainment segments of the Today show this morning and Janet Jackson is looking really good. She is a yo yo dieter for sure. I wonder what extreme measures she took to look like that? The costumer is a bit odd - ha ha!

When I am around my little running group I feel like the big person. I am taller and about 3 sizes bigger. I know we are all different shapes and sizes. We all have a different bone structure and fat goes to different areas of our body. I just feel out of place, odd!

Anyway, I have been good and I'm looking forward to weigh in on Tuesday.

Have a great weekend!

Wheatgrass tastes like.....

....GRASS! But I think I would rather eat grass? You basically add a teaspoon to some warm water but - GROSS! It is really disgusting. This super food cost me $20 so I am going to have to keep on taking it. I must admit I did feel more "alive" for the first half of the day.

Well I have got back on the Weight Watchers ban wagon after joining Weight Watchers at work.

I have been good and started off the day with an Australian classic - weet-bix!

I added some chia seeds, a small banana and skim milk (4 points). I was also a good girl and tool my vitamins :-)

After a great start to the day! I was ready for work. We are coming into winter so I made sure I warmed myself up with a nice cup of tea (1 point)!

Morning tea was 4 cruskits with a teaspoon of butter and some vegemite spread (2 points).

I went out for lunch with a friend and had vegetable and lamb soup with 1 piece of toast (4 points). No piccie! But that is probably a good thing as this taking pictures of your food then uploading and formatting thing takes a lot of time....

Afternoon tea I had a snack pack of vita-weets (1.5 points).

When I got home from work I was starving but I think I am always hungry after work out of habit? I wanted chocolate. I wanted to bust open the packet of oreos that are in the cupboard for Robert but instead I had a handful of mixed unsalted nuts.

Oh dear! I wonder how many points that will be? Oh dear... 3 points! mmmm... but there are lotz and lotz of goodies in nuts :-)

Dinner! I made lentil and pumpkin curry soup with multi-grain bread on the side (5 points) and a yogurt for dessert (1 point).

Well that abouts sums me up for the day. I have boring book work to do for Robert!

Today's stats:

21.5/20 points.

Skinny thoughts.............................

Weight Watchers @ Work starts today..

Yep it's here and I'm excited. Not exactly looking forward to weighing in as I feel like a FAT BLOB (TTOTM has finally arrived). But I am excited and motivated to succeed. In 13 weeks time you will hopefully hear me blabbing about how "fabulous" I feel not, "ooops I'm still here at 77kg"

I went to boot camp this morning and it was all upper body. My arms are DEAD!

Weigh in is 2:30 and it's currently 12:50. I am having my lunch as it is lunch time but it is hard not to side thought that I shouldn't be having lunch because I am going to weigh in soon. Ahh... life is so hard.

I bought some wheatgrass powder todasy (and a lotto ticket) I'm hoping the powder will help but I do thing the lotto win will be even better :-)

Skinny thoughts....

1 pink line

Just a quick post to my world before I go to bed.

Yesterday was the start of the Global Corporate Challenge. The idea is that you aim to do 10,000 steps a day. Even though I am not exercising this week I still managed to get 10,000 in yesterday. Today I had the day off work (thank you boss) and thought I'd do a massive clean. i ended up doing less than I thought (cleaning) but I did get 14,000 steps in. Amazing really!!

I thought I was pregnant all week. But I took a test today and I'm not so I must just be late. It is strange. When I first realised I was late I panicked - I have no money, we just got a mortgage, We only have s small 2 bedroom house, I don't have a permanent job, my job doesn't have maternity leave, i can't use the obstetrician on my health insurance for another 6 months - all these thoughts. Then you start planning how you can make it work. That the baby doesn't it's own room, we don't need to go all out and have a nursery, we can get everything second hand, I can use my stay at home time to help build up Rob's business, we can use the public health system, we can talk to the bank about consolidating debt. When I found out I wasn't I was like "oh okay, that's a pity".

And now she sleeps....

"Now now.. don't you just sit on the couch and eat"

Did I tell you that Rob is working away this week? I was just talking to him about how I am taking the week off exercise. He said that's a good thing but not to use it as an excuse to sit on the couch and eat! Now some people may think that what he said was rude. But in a way he was only being honest and I have realised that he knows me better than I thought. I have been coming home and sitting on the couch and eating.

Yum yum - weight watchers raspberry tartlets and English breakfast tea!!!

But this is how I relax? "Hello Polly do you or don't know want to fit back into your wardrobe??????'

You may wonder, why can't I just be happy to be my size? If you look at my profile picture I don't look obese and I am also a relatively fit and healthy person. Why can't I just be happy with that?

Well according to the rules I am classed as overweight. I also love that feeling of being in the 60's even if it is only 69.9 kg. I feel sexy, I feel like I can wear anything, i love myself more, I socialise more, I smile more... I want that back! I may only need to lose 7 kilos but I also need to do so much more (i.e. change the behaviour patterns that cause me to binge eat).

Cancelled!

I had my blog open at work and was gradually typing my post and then I accidentally deleted it.

I had a fudge of a day. I have finally finished a big project and now I just want to chill out for a bit but it is not happening. I always get nervous to ask the boss for a day off. Even last week when I had the migraine and rang up sick I felt like I was lying even though I was pretty much BLAH for the day. I would really like a Friday and a Monday off.

Now for the title of my post - I cancelled my Weight Watchers Unlimited membership today. I will join the WW on Tuesday and then get access to e-tools. I will actually be saving money :-)

I'm still restricted with my movement. My calves are still really sore and I am prepared to rest up for the rest of the week so I don't do any damage. Ha ha - any excuse to sleep in and stay in after work. It is getting colder and colder -bbrrrrgggghhhhh...

Okay I'm off to read an article about the yo yo dieter - who me?

Woo Hoo - Lotto Win!

Okay, before you get too excited and start asking me for loans it was only $28.80. But I really needed that little extra to keep me afloat until pay day. Money dissapears so quickly.

Can't move

Well, I am unable to walk today.

Our soccer team travelled up to Devonport for a State wide soccer match. I have no idea why we went. I guess it was for "expereice" we got flogged. I got injured 20 minutes into it. My calf muscles let go and I just couldn't move. So I have to take the week off and hopefully I'll be all better.

One negative to this is that the Global Corportate Challenge starts on Thursday. The idea is that you have to do 10,000 steps a day. I am team captain. I was looking forward to getting into it and doing some persoanl best results.

You know how I told you about the keeping the scales in the shed thing in my last post. Well I have discovered that Rob has not moved them into the shed and they are just sitting by the back door. As soon as I noticed this I hopped on (see I'm addicted). I was 75.9kh but I think that is because I didn't have tea last night. We were home pretty late after the match.

Well I'm not really wanting to be at work today but I am here. My projects have settled down a bit so I am catching up on filing. A dull but necessary part of my working life.

I am meeting a friend for sushi at lunch - yum yum

Skinny thoughts....

"Scales! Get out of my bathroom"

I weighed myself this morning in the nud! I am 77kg. I'm happy that I haven't gained but I think I seriously need to stop weighing myself everyday. You never see results. If I gain a little I think "Why do I bother? That's it I might as well have had that pizza". But it is perfectly natural to gain a little. Therefore, the scales are somewhere in the shed and I am only going to weigh myself every Tuesday at Weight Watchers.

I don't have good shoes to wear with jeans. I wear these brown flat ones with no support and are not particularly good for winter. My boyfriend has very kindly bought me a new pair of shoes.

Check them out:

They are a nice neutral green pair of Merrells. I love them! There is no way I could have afforded them with out him. Thank you Robbie XX

Weekend is nearly here

Brrrrggghhhhh…. It’s cold today.

There's not much going on at work for once so I am just filing and cleaning and doing all the boring things I have put off for the last 18 months. I am totally bored. Plus it is freezing.

A girl came into work looking totally hot in her jeans. It made me feel a bit uuurrrggghhhhh!! So I went for a run/plod at lunch time. I have been making healthy choices too.

I think I'll leave work early and then go into the city to catch up with a friend.

Skinny thoughts...

Weight Watchers at Work

I just rang up Weight Watchers to discuss my options in transferring my membership over from Unlimited to At Work :-(

The lady said that you can't do it. I will have to cancel and then re-sign up. But I'm not even sure if I get access to E-Tools. I will have to suss out what I will get and how much it will cost and do up a comparison.

I'm kind of seeing a lot of gorgeous, beautiful skinny women around lately. I want to be one of them and the only way I will be is if I "act" NOW!

Skinny thoughts...

Boot camp

YAWN.... I made it to boot camp. I was 5 minutes late but I refuse to wake up any early than 5 AM. I was the only non baby boomer there, but I had a good partner and can really feel the burn in my arms. As a result of YAWN, I forgot my hairbrush so after showering at work I've had to tie it back with my fingers and hope for the best. I'm seriously not very high maintenanced anyways so I don't really care about it. I can see the girly girls looking at me in that "how can you come to work like that" way. Oh well. Coffee and porridge time.

Skinny thougts....

Motivation

Motivation - what gets you out of bed in the morning or helps you run for that extra minute when you legs are burning!!!

I thought I may have lost complete care and motivation but I just finished soccer training (far out it was cold) and now I feel good!

Weight Watchers says that there are five factors that help find motivation:

1. Harness group support - I think I lack at this factor. I am hoping that WW at work will help with the discipline, drive and determination that you get from group support.
2. Write your goals down - I do have goals and how I'd reward them in my head but I think I should write them down so here goes:
   Goal 1 75 kg - reward with new running shoes and boy do I need them)
   Goal 2 73 kg - reward with a high visibility bike riding top (long sleeves as it is getting chilly)
   Goal 3 71.5 kg - reward with a facial
   Goal 4 70 kg - reward with some black boots (if I can afford them, my rewards are adding up)
   Goal 5 69.9 kg - this is my goal weight. I will reward myself by purchasing a full length mirror.
   Goal 6 LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP - I would love a weekend away with my man. We live in Tasmania and there are so many gorgeous places to go. I think I will pick Strahan.
   I know my goals are in very small increments but I am aware of just how slowly I am loosing it and when I get to the last five, they are always the hardest to lose.
3. Visualise what you want - I use to do this and I believe it works. I should do it again. I know that mentally I might set myself up for failure. Thinking - arrgh well you never lose it so why do you think you will this time.
4. Don't set the bar too high - I think this is what went wrong last time I did Weight Watchers. I remember wanting to be 67 kg and it is impossible for me. People who set unrealistic weight goals become demotivated. I think 69.9 is achievable?
5. Aim to avoid comparison - mmm.. hitting a weight loss plateau, feeling like other people are doing better than you or simply finding the regime harder than thought = demotivating. I must understand why my end goal is important to me and hold it in my mind.

Very interesting don't you think. I', heading to bed early. I'm hoping to make it to boot campt. I slept in yesterday (by choice) and didn't go.

Skinny thoughts...

Not to be read for inspiration.

One of the bloggers blogged "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result - Albert Einstein".

I like it. It reminds me of my weight loss journey. Same exercise routine, same bad eating habits = same weight.

I don't feel like exercising this week. I scored myself a migraine after soccer on Sunday and had yesterday off work. today I feel tired and when I stopped off at the supermarket to buy bread I walked out with a packet of mars bar biscuits from the supermarket bakery. This is why I buy my groceries online, to stop myself from doing stupid things. I now feel so sick that I have changed into my pyjamas.

You probably shouldn't be reading this if you are looking for inspiration... I must be honest with myself and be weary of the triggers.

I think my frame of mind has some what taken a few steps backwards. Because Weight Watchers is coming to my work I am using it as an excuse not to bother. But now I feel like a fat slob. I think my period might be due. I'm not normally like this? Or am I?

I think I'll have a shower and get an early night.

ouch

After a fail of a day yesterday I made it to judo.

It was a struggle. I had to offer a girl at work a lift into town which is on my way to judo in order the make myself go. If she said no I would have just gone home. But now I am sore. I feel like th big girl at judo and I hate that feeling. I move slower, an I am not actaully that good at it. I do howver, have many war wounds to prove that I went. My butt is sore. Having a sore butt is difficult because the pain is deep within the fat layers where the bone is. You will find me often at the corner of my desk trying to give it a good rub. Ha ha!

I have bruises up my arm and my hip bone has a massive bruise. Then there's the shins....

My BF has the day off work. Lucky thing. He does work hard so he deserves it but I would so love a break from it all right now.

We both suck at communication. I am all dressed up with plans to go out for after work drinks with some girls in the city. However, Robert also made plans to invite people over for dinner. The weekends have been so full on that I haven't done any house work in 3 weeks. So I have to ditch drinks and go home and clean and then think of what to cook for tea.

Skinny thoughts...

Weight Watchers is coming to my work

That's right!

WW is coming to my work. We are booked in. I have no idea why it takes so long to organise. Anyway - we are starting TUE 25 May at 2 PM.

I have been slacking of the tracking and basically what I put in my mouth side of things for the last few weeks knowing that Weight Watchers is coming to my work. No more excuses (soon).

I didn't go to boot camp this morning. My boyfriend is not very good at motivating me to exercise. Every morning -

Rob: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Stay in bed"
Polly: "Don't do this to me, do you want a fat GF or a skinny one?"
Rob: "I want cuddles"
Polly: (thoughts in head) "Sounds nice, I like this attention"
Polly: "Okay"
1 minute later - we fall asleep and nothing happened and the calories from last nights ice cream settle back on my butt.

Now I feel sluggish. Now I feel like I just want to go home and do nothing. It is amazing how a start to the day that is outside your normal routine just takes you out of wack.

I weighed myself this morning. I weighed 77.7 kg. So I am really back at the start again.

*Sigh

It will happen though. I know that inside me is another body that wants to shine. Her clothes are waiting for her and taking up 3/4s of my wardrobe...

Skinny thoughts...

HONESTY is the best policy!!

I read in this month's Women's Health magazine that one of the keys to loosing weight successfully is to record openly and honestly about your weight loss journey. This includes the highs and lows lows lows.

So here I go. *GULP*

So last week was hectic at work and I didn't do any exercise for 6 days and you already know thatI organised a forum for work so there was lots of nice forum food to indulge it - I indulged!

On the weekend I tried to make up with it by exercising in all my spare time. But I'm still failing on the food part! I did try sometimes....

Saturday
Morning run with my girl friends followed by a latte and poached eggs and bacon on (only one) piece of toast.

Lunch time bike ride (40 km and lots of hills) followed by sarsaparilla and 2 X sausage roll ( 1 sausage roll = 10 points)

Too stuffed to cook dinner! Yep we ordered pizza! Gourmet vegetarian and a garlic prawn pizza. It was so delicious. Especially when I washed it down with REAL coke.

Sunday

Toast with Vegemite (love) and orange juice. Followed by a FULL game of soccer (we drew) and crisps as my partner was eating them when I got home.

I made a nice and healthy broccoli soup (only 2 points) for dinner. But um - failed it with a banana split!

I seriously don't eat like that all the time but how crazy? That pizza was seriously Devinne though :-)

I made a healthy pasta dish last night (I should start taking pictures) and tonight we are having mini pita bread pizzas (6.5 points) with salad (0 points).

I am seriously hoping that when Weight Watchers comes to work I get my act together.

Skinny thoughts.....